brown

~ Tanmay ~ Leave a comment

Everyday we drink tea, resting the tea cups on round jute coasters on a large brown wood coffee table with an even larger brown tinted glass surface.

The tint makes the newspapers below look 30 years old- as if they were fished out from our storage room, but of course they bear today’s day and date- neat and crisp.

The rusk often drips into the tea as we stare into our respective screens on quiet mornings of days’ that we know entail toil. The unuttered desperation for rest adds to the silence, broken periodically by the stunted cries of stunted sparrows. The sparrrows are smaller than they used to be 20 years ago. Their plumage pathetic now, dirt-like instead of the browns that we have preserved in our eyes.

A three-some of green parrots show up at the window near the dining table, overlooking the cemetery. Always in threes, and always silent for the fear of attracting a predator who’d claw them down.

Only once have I sighted a large hawk in our skies, gawking over the cemetery as if it was its land. How would I explain to it that that land is disputed property…

-Tanmay

who the fuck put a dead snake on my plate?!

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The snake opened its wide sharp knife laden mouth, the orifice big enough to consume my-self entirely, I entered with a certain risk, a kid in the background yelled “Basilisk”,

“Ah shut up, I want this journey”.

The snake’s body lay open for me to inspect, the scales absent inside, a hollow rib and an elongated gut, put up lights at the top and it’s no different than the tunnel I drive through everyday for work. Could smell the reek of venom and a dead rat, somewhere deeper I could encounter its death, not mine, I plan to live longer.

The body seemed to coil inwards, dead snakes writhe for a while, no problem; I could just shrink further and go on, as I said I wanted this journey.

The mucus on the walls signaled directions further into the belly to the bag of gold, yes there was gold and other treasures at the end, you could say the dragon had eaten the treasure it was supposed to guard, only the dragon here is a snake.

Ten steps further I found some gold coins strewn on the floor, I kept on walking, and walking and walking…

-Tanmay

kids and poetry

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Been a busy three days tending to poetic desires. It is a relief to know that if you keep your head down and put in the work, it’ll pay off.

Writing has offered a steady support for a long time. It’s an exercise that if done for pleasure will furnish peace. There’s endless possibilities of the magic that can be crafted through pen and paper. Once an idea strikes I translate it into an image, and I describe it as best as possible. Slowly I feel that the poem itself dictates how it’ll turn out to be and I am just a medium.

There’s a lot of exploration to do and I will keep sharing what I find as I find it.

-Tanmay

muse solaire

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*

what hesitation do I hold, when the sun broke through me

how do I stop when you already hallowed mine pen with thy lips, and so I wrote on

the papyrus too thin, letting the letters suspend in the air- a curtain for your face

nestled in hair that beamed of spring in monsoon, evident of misplaced power commandeered by

the eyes, the eyes capable of inciting cold blooded murder and vanishing into sage like meditation,

altering the course of comets and destinies,

but lip service is all I am providing now, hoping that the letters be assimilated and drunk, hoping that there’s more…

*

-Tanmay

PS: I am in the mood for writing poetry only these days. Please bear with me.

nightmare

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These serpentine dreams of mine

latch onto me,

dragging me down

long after I’ve woken up,

it’s the incubus of epic proportions

reminding me of sins that were

the poison dilutes my blood

and I hallucinate- an extension of nightmares- a contorted scarecrow’s screaming cries

ringing in my ears

the rustling summer wind gives me cotton mouth

sweat drops like a river from my hair to my chin

and then the pounding of the earth

with no time to turn around

all I see from the corner of my eye-

vile wolves with red eyes jumping on me…

-Tanmay

sleeping

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The devilish pleasure and luxury of being able to sleep the whole day, the whole night and the whole evening. There’s construction work going on in the apartment above us, and they were working in the room above mine. The noise under which I went to sleep was no joke. No room was spared either, the noises were everywhere. But I slept through, waking up in a compounded glory of multiple hollow meaningless victories.

It’s not even me skipping my responsibilities. They’re too less. What else am I supposed to do in a state of limbo, a state of lax muscles and an idle mind?

Any suggestions about better use of time would be welcome.

-Tanmay

unread stuff

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I bought a hardcover box set of The Lord of The Rings, with the whole series divided into 7 small books. The set looks extremely sexy, it’s inviting and the blue and gold colours exude a sense of peace.

All that said I haven’t actually gotten to reading more than 80 pages of the first book. Tolkien is a genius but man he definitely takes his time to get to the point. It seems he’s screaming and laughing at us: “I have the goddamn luxury of time!”

What’s also awesome is the fact that he was friend with the writer of The Chronicles of Narnia, C. S. Lewis. It is said they both wanted to write fantasy and encouraged each other.

But I’ll get around to reading it, I’m sure. It is one of those books that should be read before your life is over.

-Tanmay

free (cheap) booze

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elusive is the feeling of satisfaction

when the high tide fills me up

and then recedes

so I accept: “every high has its low”

the coin of life I suppose

wherein we resign

to luck and chance

we’re not entirely wrong to do so

move your limbs enough the right manner

and you’ll earn some respect

“rest you leave to luck”

they say

so I do that

and sometimes I don’t

a zeal to be a contrarian

keeps me sane and happy

the life of mechanics and logic seems bland

hence these images in my head constructed

from images of life

Polaroid eyes printing instantly

and the brain filling in the details

so finely that the cocktail is smooth

and keeps me happy

and for a second the elusive satisfaction is in my palms. warm and lucky.

-Tanmay

training day; denzel; confucius

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Training Day is a cop movie set in downtown Los Angeles. Ethan Hawke plays a rookie cop- Jake Hoyt who is assigned into Denzel Washington’s unit. Denzel plays Alonzo, a crooked cop working in the narcotics department.

Alonzo believes in maintaining the status quo of a criminal world where cops are dirty and are in on the action. As per his own needs he chooses to arrest or murder anybody. He tells Jake to do the same, to follow his lead and one day become a detective who makes actual change. We can see that Alonzo is trying to manipulate Jake into becoming a dirty cop.

Jake resists and says this is not what he signed on for (of course the blue eyed white guy says that). However he is embroiled in a staged shoot-out and is used as a pawn by Alonzo who is also under pressure from his superiors.

The Master (Confucius) sighed, “Would that I did not have to speak!”
Zigong (a disciple) said, “If the Master did not speak, then how would we little ones receive guidance from you?”
The Master replied, “What does Heaven ever say? Yet the four seasons are put in motion by it, and the myriad creatures receive their life from it. What does Heaven ever say?” – Excerpt from Analects Confucius (Edward Slingerland)

I can see a parallel between what Alonzo tries to tell Jake, to let the status quo be and to observe him and learn. Of course I’m sure Confucius didn’t advocate lawlessness and murder. But if a value system is corrupt and validates what we consider immoral or criminal, then a large part of wisdom and a pattern of virtuous conduct could be adopted in the corrupt society. It’s as if the society won’t believe it’s corrupt and it’s just normal to be looted and killed.

But we don’t live in such a society right?

-Tanmay

Juice WRLD speaks from heaven

~ Tanmay ~ 1 Comment

Man, we really lost a gem. I first listened to Juice WRLD (Jarad Anthony Higgins) in WRLD on Drugs a collaborative album by Future and Juice WRLD. The album was about dope and was dope. There were some really good bangers on it, and the duo seemed to produce good sound together. Juice hails from Chicago, Illinois and was signed to Interscope Records.

Juice was popular for his introspective style of rapping and using predominantly mellow R&B beats. Songs such as Empty and Maze proved that he could talk about important issues that every human goes through whilst struggling. It added to address the problem with the general ethos of sadness that is somehow much more pronounced in all public spaces online or offline, (maybe it’s because people are not afraid to express anymore, and Juice made them feel better).

His first posthumous album Legends Never Die, (aptly named) continued his story of dealing with fame at a young age (he died six days after turning 21). Jarad is deemed a genius because of immense maturity in his lyrics despite his age.

Jarad’s death should serve as constant reminder to not indulge extremely in shit that can kill you.

RIP JUICE

-Tanmay